Saturday, 23 August 2014

Being on the spectrum means...

What does it mean to be on the spectrum?  Or to be Autistic, have Aspergers, be a person with ASD, whatever you want to call it.

It means constant reminders that you're wrong
you're faulty
you're broken
you're not supposed to be here

your poor family deserves a refund
and your parents deserved a different kid
a better kid
any kid who wasn't you

You're a mistake
a burden
a problem
a pity
a shame
a pain in the arse

If you can't forge relationships
you're a bitch
you're stuck up
you're frigid
you're standoffish
you're cold
you're unfriendly
you're unapproachable
you give off bad vibes
you're awkward
you make things weird
and it's all your fault
and always
and forever

If you're under attack from your own senses
you're a whinger
you're a princess
you're demanding
you're unreasonable
you're a fussy bitch
you're making it up
you're making a scene
you're doing it for attention
and it's all your fault
and always
and forever

If you can't work or can't find a job
you're a leaner
you're a bludger
you're a lazy bastard
you should try harder
you should have tried harder
you should have known better
you've wasted your potential
you should have figured it out for yourself
and it's all your fault
and always
and forever

Being on the spectrum means being erased
nobody wants you to exist
so they pretend you don't exist
they talk about children with autism
as though only children have autism
as though we're not here
as though we're not struggling
as though we don't need help
as though our lives
and loneliness
and unemployment
and isolation
and bullying
aren't the lives waiting for those children

Being on the spectrum means you're not seen
(unless your name starts with T
and ends with emplegrandin
and you can be marketed as an inspirational tale of overcoming the odds.)

Your story isn't told
Your voice isn't heard

You don't count
And you don't matter

(Is now a good time to mention that Autism Awareness Australia is doing a survey into service provision and the NDIS?  There's no point linking to it.  It's for parents and carers only.)